So I stopped by my Uncle Joe & Auntie Cecilia's the other night for a visit & I took their cool stand up vacuum cleaner for a spin, the kind that doesn't require the operator to haul around a horrible canister. I had one of those terrible ones growing up & often damaged walls with it trying to get the job done fast so I could go party at the beach with my buddies. I often dreamed of the upright kind & knew I'd get one eventually. So one day when my then boyfriend, Art was at work making sure trees were planted properly & whatnot, I was at home nesting & dreaming of our unborn children. A knock at the door brought me to reality. It was a Kirby door to door vacuum salesman. Seriously, who does those jobs anymore? I guess someone has to! So I thought "Oh I really should hide until he moves on" but no! I had to answer the door. Since I was on reading break from University, I had loads of time...to procrastinate! He pulled out one of those beautiful, skookum upright vacuum cleaners...in a gorgeous silver finish no less. I fully admit I'm a magpie! So he went through the usual & I'm thinking "ya whatever dude, I'm in university studying to be a teacher, working for free. I can't afford this expensive machine." Then he asks how well do I sleep & if I had any allergies. I've always been troubled by dust (who isn't?) so he pulls out his book of dust mites...essentially hundreds of pictures of microscopic bugs that apparently live in pillows & beds, not to mention carpets & couches. So GROSS! And guess what folks, for a cool $1800 you too could get those nasty bugs out of your bed! He vacuumed the whole house, including the couch, bed & pillows & assured me I'd sleep better from now on, not to mention how healthy I'd be, how I'd be doing my unborn children such a courtesy! So I caved. I pulled out my credit card & charged that damn upright vacuum cleaner on it like I was Super Woman or something! I felt so proud & set in my decision to make Art & I healthier! Then buyer's remorse set in & Art of course, freaked out & said I had to return the glorious machine. I pathetically defended my purchase & he just looked at me like I was nuts...which I was of course! He was right. So I made the humble call & Dr. Kirby returned to get his goods. However, I'm reminded of that story every time I see an upright vacuum cleaner. I never did get one & eventually was gifted a central vacuum system from my generous folks when we bought our second house. I still dream of Kirby & his sleek silver finish though.